In the wake of the Ashley Madison hacking story, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the question of why men cheat. Yes, women do as well though I would argue for different reasons. In the case of Ashley Madison, most of the clients were men. There were a lot of women signed up but it turns out many of those profiles were faked—chum to attract the guys.
Esquire Magazine had an interesting article on the subject.
The adulterous author goes on about how men need to cheat. A biological imperative. A way to challenge themselves. A rebellion against the fantasy of soulmates and romance. The one thing he doesn’t address is the fact that he’s not only cheating on his partner, he’s cheating on himself. His vows. His word. His integrity. Maybe he doesn’t have the latter or doesn’t care.
There are scores of opportunity to cheat for both sexes. Colleagues at work. Bored neighbors. Travelling companions. Why you’d have to sign up on line is beyond me but then I’m a bit of technophobe. Maybe it’s the combination of technology and sin that turns some people’s cranks.
Others are proximity cheaters. Take Ben Affleck who apparently had something going on with the nanny. First, ewww. You would want to have a woman in charge of your children who wasn’t trustworthy? Secondly, ewww. She knows your wife. Thirdly, ewww. It’s just lazy not to look outside your own home for a new play partner. Arnold Schwarzenegger knows that all too well.
Then there are those who like it down and dirty. There’s a story that DJ Calvin Harris was caught leaving a rub and tug massage parlour. His happy ending might be destroyed when this went public because hey, isn’t he with Taylor Swift?
The bottom line is no matter how famous or accomplished or beautiful you are, your mate could cheat on you. Unless you choose them for character. Few of us do.