I Don’t Get Fashion. Or The Met Gala.

I don’t get fashion.

Part of it is body type–short-waisted with big boobs, I’m not a designer’s dream. Part of it is the fact I dressed in the dark for neigh on thirty years. (No, I wasn’t a hooker.  I worked early mornings in radio. Come to think of it, a hooker might have paid better.)

I have no hand for accessories. I was lucky to find both sox in the middle of the night.

Most of my clothes are black and will be, until they invent a darker colour. (Don’t Wente me. I know it’s a quote, I just can’t remember from where.)

This preamble explains why my favourite gossip pages are kind of a puzzle to me this morning. They held something called the Met Gala last night in which famous (thin) people wear ridiculous outfits and stand beaming next to the famous (thin) people who dreamed up said ridiculous outfits. I look at the pictures and shake my head. Does anyone look comfortable? Would you wear this to get groceries? Walk the dog? To me, fashion is all about function. It’s  not about art. I don’t have the lifestyle or the inclination. I can appreciate the workmanship (workwomanship?) that went into some of the designs but to me it feels like a waste of time. A great jacket you can wear time and time again. A little black dress that never goes out of style. That I understand. I don’t understand this. Or this. this or this.madge

And this? It’s just sad. Mutton dressed as lamb, Madge.

One thought on “I Don’t Get Fashion. Or The Met Gala.

  1. larrylootsteen says:

    I would say that as part of this cycle of fame we are in, these events have become more ‘important’ as have people with nothing to say who always have something to say. On the other side of it is these insane outfits, which most make me cringe at, often lead to some of the daily wear we know and love. New fabrics, better material, new colours (okay, I know colour is NOT your thing clearly), new cuts, new designs often come out of the insanity that is fashion. There are artistic merits at times as well. Would your memories of early Elton john be complete without the garb? Would Bowie’s genius been better accented with blue jeans? Would Prince have been better off in dungarees?


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