Hey America! Netflix and Chill.

We all need to calm the f**k down. The election of Donald Trump is not the apocalypse, though I threw up a little in my mouth as I typed those words.

Violent protests and property damage are not governed by the First Amendment. If you want to make things better–I’m talking to you millennials–try voting. Fewer than half of you did, so the rest can shut up.

And hey, Democrats, stop blaming the FBI and bad polling and aliens for screwing up. Take ownership. You blew it. You blew it when you anointed Hillary Clinton the nominee and discouraged other challengers. (Kudos to Bernie for sticking in there for so long). You knew she had more baggage than a Kardashian but you insisted it was her turn. People hate that sense of entitlement. I hate that sense of entitlement. Sure, she was qualified but she wasn’t trustworthy  or likeable and you ignored those facts.

Time to grow up, delete the old guard and open the gates to new ideas or hand Donald the keys for 8 long years.

Hey Republicans. You are in charge now and this is your guy so you have to wear whatever dump shit he wants to do. No pointing the fingers at the other party or blaming gridlock for broken promises. You wanted the clean sweep and you got it. Because what you wish for…..

And to the media, shame on you. Yes, you live in a bubble and trade rumours like fact but it’s no wonder consumption of mainstream media is on the decline. Why should we believe you when you literally fly over the fly-over states unless there’s a tornado? Leave the newsroom, leave the big cities and get out on the road and actually talk to people. Do your job! And stop treating anyone who isn’t like you as the enemy or stupid. They have different life experience but just like you, they act in their own self-interest and that’s how they voted.

Sure, it’s hard to imagine that Donald will bring back jobs lost to automation. Will start a trade war with China. Will risk pissing off his base by trying to repatriate manufacturing. (How would you like to pay $50 for a t-shirt when you can snatch up for $15 because it’s made in a Southeast Asian sweatshop?)

Yes, I dislike everything he stands for and find him a petty, foul-mouthed short fingered vulgarian. But’s he’s the president-elect.

Suck it up, America and start making plans for four years for now–or two years for the midterms. Start sourcing candidates who understand how to outline their policies in 140 characters.

It’s bizarro. Most believed that after a Clinton win, Trump supporters would be rioting and making threatening noises about exercising their second amendment rights and Donald would take his own sweet time conceding the race and the party would implode.

It’s the other way around, so maybe Democrats and Republicans have more in common than they think. Let’s hope so.

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