I woke up the dogs last night. I had a #MeToo dream and was shouting “No!”

I have a feeling a lot of women are having #MeToo flashbacks and nightmares in the wake of all the HarveyWeinsteinRoyPriceJamesTobackBillO’ReillyBillCosbyRogerAilesDonaldTrump stories.

My #MeToo nightmare took me back to when I was a kid. 4 or 5? A cousin wanting me to touch him. There. I did but nothing else, scared by the change in his breathing, the avid look of low cunning power on his face. He might as well said aloud “Look at what I can make you do.” That is sexual harassment. The idea of forcing someone to do something. It’s a stain that doesn’t wash out through time. I wonder what choices, what roads not taken, were a result of that time. How it shaped me.

There is talk that the Weinstein scandal is a watershed moment. Maybe. Or maybe rather than the straw that broke the camel’s back, Harvey is the scapegoat. He and few other long term predators will be outed and punished. Would this have happened if TWC had been at the top of its game? If Amazon studios hadn’t overpaid and overpromised for talent and gotten off to a very rocky start? If James Toback wasn’t 70 years old? If Billl Cosby was still king of family friendly comedy on NBC?

I worry that rather than open doors for women, this will close them. That female employees seeking male mentors (and, given the dearth of women at the top of the career food chain it’s usually guys) will find the doors closed because even well meaning men will worry about how things look or a closed door meeting.

Maybe not. Maybe women will get justice and equality and all that good stuff. Odds anyone?

2 thoughts on “#MeToo.

  1. Lesley says:

    #MeToo My PhD Supervising professor tried to get personal in a major way at Cornell on a science exchange weekend. I said a big “NO” and my career was sacrificed. I had a mature discussion with him to no avail. His ego was hurt and he was out for blood. Turned out he had tried with several of the other female’s in the department. There was a group silence. Each girl just wanted to quietly complete whatever and move out and move on. I did go to the Chairman of the Department when it was obvious to me that I must leave. He was astounded that their ‘Star’ was withdrawing. That Department did wake up. They did see a pattern. It took three years but they moved him off campus. He still has a huge career and influence at the top ladder of science. He is currently located in Toronto. Each voice does make a difference. The good guys still try to help. Yes I still wonder about the trajectory that my life would have taken without that incident. It should be noted that all the guys under this man have huge careers, probably bought by their silence and complicity.


    1. Emme Cross says:

      It’s amazing when you consider how different things would be for how many women if this wasn’t so systemic. If there wasn’t the complicity of silence on the part of men and women who shrug and say “that’s how things are. Get over it.”
      I hate that kind of complacency. I find it evil and I hope karma is a bitch.


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