The Donald Is a Dealbreaker.

Here’s something to discuss over Canadian Thanksgiving dinner in households where it’s only grown ups and there’s lots of wine other than the EWW factor which is Justin Beiber’s dad commenting on his boy’s package: Which random gimme would be a dealbreaker for your relationship?

My husband is well aware I have a thing for Colin Firth. If Colin Firth somehow ended up in my vicinity I would not be responsible for my actions. I would plant a flag on that fictional Mark Darcy.  My husband is okay with that. He thinks Colin is a good actor (jealousy speaking there, he’s a G.O.D!) and seems intelligent and witty in that dry English way. It’s been agreed that  if I were to have a gimme he’s okay with it being Colin. I have another longer list of substitutes that are more amorphous like Tom Hanks before Big or Sam Heughan but only as Jamie Fraser and Channing Tatum, but no talking. However, Colin remains firmly at the top of my go to list.)

My husband’s gimme is Sandra Bullock. She’s gorgeous and smart and funny and talented and like a lot of people I know, makes mistakes when it comes to love. She seems to like bad boys so she wouldn’t go for my husband but hey, let him dream. Sandra is his gimme and I’m fine with that.

But fantasies are a strange thing. Sometimes you can fantasize about people you would avoid in real life because they have the IQ of a switchplate or are a walking STD. What would  you do if your significant other fantasized about having sex with someone who turns your stomach like Donald Trump? You’d run away, right? You’d say ick and run as fast as you could, leaving a string of divorce papers and torn up wedding photos in your wake.

Which is why you never share all your fantasies because some of them could be quiet disgusting to your partner. Keep them your own scummy little secret. Share the nice fantasies. The Firths and the Bullocks. It’s like meticulously fanning out architectural magazines on your coffee table while devouring Gossip Cop or D-List online. Telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth could be a dealbreaker.

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